Good morning imaginary friends

Well hello vast abyss of the Internet. I've got my bowl of Cascadian Farms cereal (product placement without a hyperlink is so short-sighted, don't you think?!). I would say I'm drinking coffee, but that would be a lie. I recently cut back my consumption because life makes me nervous enough lately.  So as I chew my minimally sweetened cubes of hay and trigs, (I can feel the fiber working 30 secs from the time I sit down..hows that for TMI?) I think about what I'd rather have on my menu today.  Today I'd like some long and abiding sense of peace sprinkled with a dash of occasional giddiness.  I wonder if "they" have that?! 

Who are They? The waitstaff at the emotional restaurant of the cosmos? Probably not. The ugly truth:  the best way to get what I want is to constantly consider how I'm choosing to respond to the events of the day as it unfolds. <- That sounds like a challenge and a lot of work. Maybe it comes easily for some people, but change is hard for me. I'm melancholy by nature, cynical by design and topped off with a heaping helping of surliness for good measure.  But I'm ready to feel differently. Hell, I'm ready to Feel.  (Serial killers, calm down. This is not an invitation.) 

When faced with a difficult task, it often helps me to break it down into smaller components. I have to trick myself so as to not be overwhelmed. So first, I must get through the a.m. frustrations with carefully measured positivity and goodwill toward mankind. This will prove difficult during those last minute routines that I have to verbalize to my child repeatedly even though we've been at this for 7 years and of course, worse than that, morning traffic. It was an hour drive to school yesterday. Let's hope the people of this city are a little more cooperative today. I shall refrain from the hundreds of profanities I will want to mutter on the morning commute.  I shall not dwell on my personal shortcomings and failures as I make that drive. I will specifically not choose to listen to my favorite forlorn music.  Of course, that won't be enough. I'll also have to avoid all music with lyrics as I find them to be increasingly depressing either in their tone or due to their insipid nature. Either way, they are off the list of options.

After writing that, I feel like that's a full day's worth of effort right there and I've only made it through getting my kid to school. Wow. Let the tidal wave of "Whelm" take me over now. Ok as is also typical of me, I shall amend the day's goals to the morning's goals and call it good. Don't judge. We all have to start somewhere.

P.S. For those of you who "know" me, I'm still trying to determine the purpose of dribbling it all out here.  I have decided I would not like to use my name or those of family members and friends in my writing. Once again, serial killers, I'm trying to avoid getting in touch with You.  You can go ahead and click that area at the top that says "next blog" now.