bulimia, it's not just for breakfast any more

the situation: a new development in my regularly scheduled drama. I'm not barfing but someone I live with has been.

the issues it brings up: self image, self loathing, self worth, redefining a relationship with ourselves and each other, pressures

the anger: I have a bit of this feeling. I understand how food can become about so much more than fuel for the body. I can relate to that much. I can see how young minds get things fairly twisted up.  "I hurt so I will hurt myself" train of thought is mind boggling but I remember going there in my head in my early teens.  I didn't carry mine out in an eating disorder. Perhaps I wasn't disciplined enough. <- That was a rough and inappropriate stab at humor. My anger comes from a good old-fashioned temper tantrum. My problematic plate was overflowing before this revelation.  Go back a few posts and see when I mentioned being overwhelmed for a point of reference....  I'll wait. So I have one person in the house who was born with issues that are hardwired into his brain and chemistry.  He didn't choose his troubles but he goes about life fairly cheerful and works harder than most people just to be in this world on a constant basis. Now this one---this one has added a challenge to her list of issues rather than just working on the core issue to begin with.  She was provided every opportunity to deal with the core issue straight on in an open, caring environment. She chose to bury that, then act out in destructive behavior patterns as a result of buried pain and compound her problems.  Her choices affect my life and all the others in my household. I didn't ask for this. Cue tantrum.  This is a good case of the "But I don't WANT to deal with this"...said in the most annoying whiny voice imaginable.   I,  however, do not have the luxury of simply throwing up my responsibilities when the going gets tough. Oh wouldn't that seem easier? Just purge out all of the bullshit that comes my way?  I already know that I can run but I cant hide from myself. I guess it's her turn to start on that lesson.

the process: Counseling, an eating plan, and re-slicing the pie chart of time and attention once again to give her more than her share and let someone else be ignored and under served in the house. Will we ever find balance? Probably not, but I'm told it doesn't last forever....